Chapter 1
Samantha looked in the mirror and and gave a frustrated sigh. Her red curly hair looked drab, muted and dull. She had large bags under her eyes which was a testament to how little she had been sleeping. Nightmares continuously plagued her sleep making it impossible for her to actually feel rested and they seemed to be getting worse as time went on. It had been three years and her heart still hurt as though it happened yesterday. Her whole world fell apart. Everybody else had moved on but she was stuck in this zombie like state of constant pain, exhaustion and stumbling through what is supposed to be her life. She looked at the clock and realized she needed to finish getting ready if she was going to make it on time. She opened the closet to get her jacket and saw Paul's suit coat hanging there. She had a sudden flash back to the last time she had seen him wearing it.
It was about a month before that dreadful day, she had been lucky enough to have finished her meetings early and was able to sneak into Paul's lecture to watch him teach about his passion. Paul was a history professor at the local university, having recently gotten his doctorate and he was thrilled to share his vast knowledge on the subject with his students. She sat in awe of him, admiring how handsome he looked in his jeans, white button down and grey suit jacket. He was tall roughly 6'2" but looked larger than life in the front of the lecture hall. His brown hair shown with what seemed like golden highlights in this light and his blue eyes sparkled behind his glasses. He kept his students engaged and interested. She wondered if she should discuss with him a few pointers to help keep her own students engaged. Although she believed that high school students are a little more difficult since college students actually chose to sit in his class, while her kids were forced to take her class to graduate. He looked up and saw her standing at the back of the room. He seemed to see something on her face as he smirked at her. He finished his lecture, assigning a reading and reminding them of their upcoming paper. He began packing up his stuff when he was approached by one of the young female students in his class. Samantha watched as the young girl attempted to flirt with Paul and slowly ran her hand down his arm in that suit coat. She giggle quietly to herself at how uncomfortable he now looked. She knew nothing was going on with this student. Paul was an incredibly loyal man and they had been together for a decade. She could tell Paul was struggling with wanting to answer her questions while maintaining the much needed distance for her to get the message. Samantha decided to help her husband out as she strolled to the front of the lecture hall and asked, "Sweetheart, you about ready to head home?" Paul sighed with relief as the young girl turned to look at Samantha. "Yeah babe. So Miss Reed, I hope you have all the information you needed for your paper. If not you can see either myself or my TA during my office hours. I hope you have a good evening." He walked directly to Samantha, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close with a kiss to her forehead. Samantha loved those kisses. They seemed to show affection, love and care all wrapped in to a few seconds. It was a wonderful feeling.
Samantha looked down at the coat that had ended up in her hands and noticed the drop of water that landed on it. She had cried so much over the last three years she wondered how she was able to shed any more tears. After she hung the coat where it was, she wiped her cheeks, threw on her coat, grabbed her bag and headed towards her car. She checked her phone as she locked the front door making sure that there weren't any calls from Sadie. The one friend she had been able to count on who understood her inability to completely move on. It probably helped that Sadie was the principal at the school she taught at and saw her on a daily basis. Samantha had called off work today unexpectedly and she knew that Sadie would worry. Sadie is an incredible friend that isn't afraid to call you out if she feels it is needed. Sadie understood Samantha in ways that others couldn't as she had faced similar losses, not to mention she worked at the same high school that Samantha taught at.
Samantha always looked up to Sadie since they met in college. They were both working on their bachelor degrees in education and Sadie just seemed so utterly confident in everything she did. Sadie was beautiful with her tall thin frame and caramel colored skin. She had gorgeous hazel eyes and thick curly brown hair with blond highlights. Samantha was a little intimidated by her, until they worked on a project together where Samantha realized that Sadie was very down to earth and warm. Since that day they had remained friends. When Samantha wanted to move high schools so that her and Paul were able to spend more time together, she spoke to Sadie about possibly working at the high school where she worked. Sadie was thrilled with the idea and encouraged her to apply. Even though they saw each other every day at school, they tended to get together once a month for dinner or brunch so that Paul could hang out with them as well. Paul and Sadie tended to bond over their love of American muscle cars. Not many people knew of their love of these. Paul had always wanted one and Sadie currently drove one that she had renovated with her father. They could spend hours talking about leather interior, engine parts or paint colors. She loved that her husband and friend got along so well. Sadie was devastated as well with what had happened. She tried to get Samantha to talk about things but understood everytime she refused. So she was hoping that her friend my understand her need for what was happening today.
After three years she felt she might actually get the closure she so desperately needed. She hadn't told anybody about what she had done or where she was headed. Which on hindsight she probably should have told Sadie. She could just picture Sadie storming to her office in her red power suit, to call Samantha and find out what was happening. The reason Samantha hadn't mentioned it was because she wasn't sure that he would ever agree or that this day would ever come. But he did and it was finally here, she was going to meet the man who had killed her husband and parents.
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